Let's admit it - emotions can be hard to talk about for everyone.

Some people can find it "uncomfortable" to be around a person who is upset. It embarrasses them because they don't know what to say, or do, or how to help.

It can even be hard to hear or accept "I Love You" for some people and they barely acknowledge you have said it.

Lots of people are just not emotionally confident and even their own feelings make them uncomfortable.

So how are they going to react to or help a son or daughter, sibling, or parent with depression... ?

Depression carries a terrible social stigma from family, from others & from ourselves.

Unless you are going through a divorce, death or other trauma, people cannot understand depression.

Emotional pain in our society is seen as a personal weakness, not a symptom of a physical disorder, chemical imbalance or nutrient deficiency.

People still think you can just

People innocently try to cheer us up, make light of it or talk us out of it

And, uninformed people (co-workers, family, the doctor) can say terribly hurtful things which can paralyze any attempts a depressed person might make to get help.

They just don't know that depression is a physical illness. Even depressed people don't get it.

Pent up emotions can be extremely difficult to talk about to anyone - even someone you are close to.

Even in a close family, having to tell someone how you feel is a risk and leaves you open, vulnerable to rejection and humiliation.

No wonder depression is so hard to come to terms with - "Ask for Help" ? - ha !

Maybe you would almost rather die than admit you have it, tell anyone, let alone "get help".

Thus out of fear, many suffer alone and lonely.

• general unhappiness
• low self-esteem
• oversensitivity
• difficulty getting along with others

• if only someone loved me
• if I could stop fighting with my family
• if I could make more money
• if I weren't so tired
• if only I were thin

• It's the stress
• The kids
• The marriage
• The job

• At first, you really don't get it - you don't know what's wrong.

• We don't always know or even question our feelings.

• You just push forward to get through the day.

• You push it away - try to ignore how you feel.

• Don't stop - don't talk about it - keep moving - keep working - hoping it will go away.

• Sometimes you'll break down

• It takes time to realize... something is really wrong.

• You try to get tough with it & tell yourself, "There's nothing WRONG with me."

• Maybe you'll drink, or smoke, take drugs, or have an affair to cover it up.

• There are lots of depressed people underneath cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, infidelity, and so on.

• Nobody wants to have depression.

Depression comes with Utter Guilt, Shame, & Embarrassment for having these feelings.

• We can feel it's Our Own Fault
• We are weak, cowardly, wimpy for "giving in" to "feelings" and "weak" emotions.
• Aren't we strong enough to "fight it ?"

"What's wrong with me - why can't I shake this ?"

• Aren't we tougher than that ?
• Do we have a lack of strength or goodness in our character or personality ?
• Are we bad & deserve to be punished ?

We see our lives as meaningless & hopeless

• We should never have been born.

• It is our destiny to die

• Treatment is hopeless

• It's all drugs & psychotherapy

• Nothing is going to help now or ever - Not enough to make living worthwhile.

We may fear losing control over our lives
We may fear not having choice, control or understanding of treatments

Fear of Being

• dependant on antidepressant drugs

• labeled "mentally ill"

• locked up in an institution - drugged or hospitalized against our will

• lost in the hands of the mental health system

• There is even the fear of letting go of the depression itself.

• Fear of letting go of the life you have known for a new and better life.

• It may be the only life you have ever known.

• What will it be like, how will you feel, who will you be ?

• A healthy brain chemistry creates a healthy reality.

• that this depression is your fault
• that you will never get better
• and that you must die.

• There is no shame in having diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Parkinson's, Huntington's ALS, EMS, MS, Alzheimer's, appendicitis, or being hit by car !!

• Other people will get other diseases.
  You have this one.

• Depression is truly an innocent, shameless, blameless, physical disorder that makes you believe that something is wrong with YOU instead of your biochemistry.

• It is not a mystery anymore. It isn't your fault & you have a physical disorder, imbalance or deficiency.

• And the more you know & learn about your own biochemistry, the more often you will be able to see yourself and your illness as separate from yourself a split second at a time.

• But you have to know something about it to make intelligent and informed choices.

• And you are capable and intelligent.

Somehow, someway, YOU MUST change, improve, or correct your brain chemistry before you will feel good again.