Question #16


How Can A Person Cope
With Being Depressed & Suicidal ?



"Bearing the Unbearable"

Wednesday's Child

I really don't know how I made it through,
but I am so glad I did.


What is Coping ?


Suffering But Not Killing Yourself.



Basic Premises

Survival of the Body While the
(Biochemical) Mind is on the mend.

Diagnosis -- Treatment -- Distraction

Use Crisis Intervention When Needed


We All Know That Nothing May Really Help -- But...

  • The GOAL is to keep yourself alive till your chosen treatment begins to work.
  • Everyone is DIFFERENT and suffering from different symptoms and varying degrees of pain & suicidal urgency.
  • So... Please don't be offended by seemingly dumb suggestions -- they might be helpful to someone else if not to you.

See life in shorter pieces and the pain only temporary - getting through the next minute, the next hour, the next day, may be all there is for a while.

  • How can you accept this ?
    • Remembering to keep thinking of your illness similar to diabetes, heart disease, or having been in an accident.
    • It's going to hurt, and be miserable, and treatment is no fun. And Worse. But you will recover.
    • If you had an accident, you would accept the pain & believe that you would heal.
    • If you had diabetes, you would watch what you ate & stick yourself with needles to check your blood sugar & take your insulin -- because you had to.
  • A longer view of life can also help -- if you think past this space in your life -- and jump ahead to the new and better life you can have with the right treatment.

Preserve the shell, the framework of your life.

You don't have to force yourself too much to do things that cause you pain or stress.

Get free or pay for as much help as you need for mundane tasks such as cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry.

And it's okay to let things go, longer than you normally would - a lot longer.

Things don't matter -- you -- matter.

Things can wait. You must survive.

If you have to force yourself to do anything, save it for important things -- so don't force the unimportant.

Ask others not to pressure you in the same way.

FOR ADULTS (with Partners)

Keep having sex with your normal partner -- even if you think you don't feel like it.

It doesn't have to be magical & romantic.

Go for comfort, closeness, support, or love.

Tell your partner that you may not seem to feel like it but it is important to do it - even if it's not great.

There are unforeseen hormonal & therapeutic benefits.

It will help you stay together through this difficult time.

Add it to the list of things that could keep you alive.

Realize that Loved Ones don't know how you feel -- if you hide your depression, they can't help.

And they really don't know how to help.

Don't be mad at them.

It seems sometimes that those emotions are in a pod.

And even if someone cares and asks you how you are feeling, you don't want to open up that "pain pod" -- you don't want to break down and cry.

Sometimes it's better if they ask yes or no questions, like "Are you depressed?" or "Feeling bad?" or "having a hard time?" -- Then you can possibly shake your head or manage to utter, "uhuh," without breaking the pod.

If you find you can't utter a word or nod your head, write it on a scrap of paper, "Feel terrible - suicidal - dying...".

Sometimes you must drain that pod and cry, and let some of those emotions drain out. Sometimes you can actually feel a tiny bit better for a while even if it's just a moment or two of relief. And it may enble you to at least talk to your interested loved one, friend, counselor or doctor.


Remember !! You have an illness.
Take care of yourself like you would a sick friend.

YES. You CAN feel sorry or sorrow for YOURSELF...
Just as you would feel for a loved one dying in the hospital.

You deserve the same
sympathy, comfort, & compassion.

Eat ice cream, eat good food, take your vitamins.

Watch movies, work puzzles, sleep a lot.

Make sure you are getting TREATMENT !!


Distraction -- Treatment -- Nutrition & Depression



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