Suicidal.com | Helping a Suicidal Person

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Helping 5 - Misc.

  • Difficulties of Helping and Being Helped
  • Adult Family /Relative, Friend or Acquaintance
  • Don't Swear to Secrecy
  • Letter | HelpCards

 

Misc. Difficulties of Helping & Being Helped
Adult Family / Relative, Friend or Acquaintance

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Every situation is different, but maybe some of these suggestions will give you ideas that you can expand on to help someone you truly care about -

But keep in mind...

It's a lot harder to help a friend or acquaintence than it seems.

If you and/or the suicidal person are under age - read the teens section (sorry, it's still under construction).

As a friend or even aquaintence, you can help a lot by listening with sincere empathy.

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Very often with family or friend, you can encounter a lot of anger and rejection once you start trying to suggest any kind of help or treatments !

  • You can easily get your feelings hurt, feel betrayed and storm off angry and offended.
  • And of course, we know this can't be helpful ! And you are going to have to forgive them and apologize for making things worse.

Depressed and suicidal people can be very unreasonable because they are in a constant state of pain and upset - and are often very negative and angry.

  • They are often in a state of denial that they need to do anything about it !

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Ask them how you can help. Admit, you just don't know what they need and how best to help them.

They should at least be looking on the internet about depression, about treatments, about accepting themselves and their pain - they can see how many others feel just like they do.

It will help them to vent their feelings to a compassionate listener, but they really need to start thinking of some chemical way to improve their emotional reactions and to dissipate the suicidal thoughts. My favorite, of course, is nutritional supplements !

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Many of them will want you not to tell anyone else, or even try to swear you to secrecy.

  • You can't agree to agree to this. Explain how you would feel if they were to actually commit suicide ! It would ruin your life - you would blame yourself forever.

Just say something like, "You are my best friend" or "I love you very much" - and I couldn't handle it if you died because of my silence. You wouldn't want that eternal guilt for me, would you ?

  • Who knows ! A family member could actually sue you for not telling, especially for someone under age.

In any case, don't make yourself solely responsible. And don't become overly involved if you are just not up to it.  Offer only what you truly have to give. 

This is a job for a spouse or blood family, pastor, counselor, or doctor.

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Suggest that you feel that keeping this a secret can only hurt them in the long run. The only way to get rid of this would be some kind of treatment or talking it out with family, pastor, counselor, or doctor.

If you are up to it - offer to go with them to talk to someone, or to go and talk to their spouse or relative for them to break the ice on the subject.

And, again if necessary, let them know that you feel very uncomfortable letting them off the hook by not telling family or looking into some kind of treatment.

Suggest that their loved ones deserve the chance to try to help before they would kill themselves. At least give them a chance.

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Help Them Tell Their Family or Doctor With This Letter | Text/Print

 

Mother, Father, Husband, Wife, Other: __________________

I did not want to tell you. I am afraid of your reaction. I am afraid you will not believe me, will not take me seriously, will criticize me, or you will just get mad at me.

My friend says I need help with my depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings.

I have been seriously thinking of taking my own life for ____________ months / years.

My friend says that I should give you a chance to help me before I commit suicide.

With your love and support, I might be able to make it through.

  • Do you love me ? 
  • Will you believe me ?

Here is a print out from Suicidal.com or other site(s) _____________

They believe me and they think you should believe me too.

 

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Helping 1 - Understand and Believe

  • Attitude Overview
  • "Love Notes" - Use Your Printer As A Life-Saving Tool
  • End Depression with Treatment

Helping 2 - Understanding Depression

  • If you don't have it
  • If you want to help
  • If you want to be helped

Helping 3 - Stigma

  • A Cold Heart for Depression ?
  • Don't "Believe in" Depression ?
  • Heredity - Are Your Kids At Risk ?

Helping 4

  • When People Try to Help You
    or When they don't...

Helping 5 - Misc.

  • Difficulties of Helping and Being Helped
  • Adult Family /Relative, Friend or Acquaintance
  • Don't Swear to Secrecy
  • Letter | HelpCards

Helping 6 - from DepressionFAQ

  • How Can You Help People Who Want To Commit Suicide ?

Helping 7 - Links

  • Other Sites to Visit

 

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How I Felt | What is Help ? | The Right to Commit Suicide

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Is Suicide A Choice ? | Suicide Myths

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Overcoming Obstacles to Treating Depression

Author's Treatment Page

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Suicide Survivor Sites

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Suicide Is Not Justified | Suicidal Brain Repair

I Feel Cured Every Day | About My Treatment 

The Right to Commit Suicide | Author's Treatment Page

Suicide Prevention In Your Area - What You Can Do

 

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Suicide.com | Suicidal.com | SuicideCrisisCenter | SuicideHotlines.com

SuicidalTeens | DepressionFAQ | DepressionandSuicide | DepressionBookstore.com

Solemn Poetry | DepressionLinks | DepressionLife.com

 

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