Every situation is different, but maybe some of these suggestions
will give you ideas that you can expand on to help someone
you truly care about -
But keep in mind...
It's a lot harder to help a friend or acquaintence than it
seems.
If you and/or the suicidal person are under age - read the teens section
(sorry, it's still under construction).
As a friend or even aquaintence, you can help a lot by
listening with sincere empathy.
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Very often with family or friend, you can encounter a lot
of anger and rejection once you start trying to suggest any
kind of help or treatments !
-
You can easily get your feelings hurt, feel betrayed and
storm off angry and offended.
-
And of course, we know this
can't be helpful ! And you are going to have to forgive
them and apologize for making things worse.
Depressed and suicidal people can be very unreasonable because
they are in a constant state of pain and upset - and are often
very negative and angry.
-
They are often in a state of denial that
they need to do anything about it !
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Ask them how you can help. Admit, you just don't know what
they need and how best to help them.
They should at least be looking on the internet about depression,
about treatments, about
accepting themselves and their pain - they can see how
many others feel just like they do.
It will help them to vent their feelings to a compassionate
listener, but they really need to start thinking of some
chemical way to improve their emotional reactions and to dissipate
the suicidal thoughts. My favorite, of course, is nutritional
supplements !
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Many of them will want you not to tell anyone else, or even
try to swear you to secrecy.
Just say something like, "You are my best friend" or "I
love you very much" - and I couldn't handle it if you
died because of my silence. You wouldn't want that eternal
guilt for me, would you ?
-
Who knows ! A family member could actually sue you for not
telling, especially for someone under
age.
In any case, don't make yourself solely responsible.
And don't become overly involved if you are just not up to
it. Offer only what you truly have to give.
This is a job for a spouse or blood family, pastor, counselor,
or doctor.
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Suggest that you feel that keeping this a secret can only
hurt them in the long run. The only way to get rid of this
would be some kind of
treatment or talking it out with family,
pastor, counselor, or doctor.
If you are up to it - offer to go with them to talk to someone,
or to go and talk to their spouse or relative for them to break
the ice on the subject.
And, again if necessary, let them know that you feel very
uncomfortable letting them off the hook by not telling family
or looking into some kind of treatment.
Suggest that their loved ones deserve the chance to try to
help before they would kill themselves. At least give them
a chance. |